Anyone informed that the universe is expanding and contracting in pulsations of eighty billion years has a right to ask, "What's in it for me?"

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.

Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.